The Job Hunt

So, I have 4 job interviews in the College Station area next week. I'm not nervous about the interviews themselves but a little anxious about the outcomes. I'm not a very patient person, in general and so it would really help out my peace of mind if I could come back from Texas with at least one job offer. I realized today that I'm interviewing at a 1A, 2A, 3A and a 4A school. That's not important but kind of interesting because I attended and have always worked at a 5A-size school. I think it will be interesting to see what it's like to teach and coach at a smaller school. Things will be even better if I can get an offer for a head coaching position. It might be a little rough going back to just being an assistant. Now, I have to play the waiting game for getting to the interviews.

Separation

So, it's strange the curve-balls that life seems to throw at people. Just when you feel pretty settled in to the way life is, the waters get stirred. At least, that's how it tends to happen for me. That's how it was a couple of years ago. I had finally gotten settled in to being a teacher and a basketball coach and just the everyday triumphs and challenges of life and we decided to move to Delaware. Then, after starting to settle in to the way things work here and making decision about what I need to do to make life work around here, another curve-ball. Now, the prospect of being a single parent back in Texas and being 1500 miles from my boys has definitely stirred the waters of my life. There's so much more to go with that. I'm praying that God will show me the way.

Change/Unknown

Looking for a new job is always a bitter/sweet ordeal for me. I always enjoy certain amounts of change. Those that have been around me for a certain amount of time know that I change the status of my facial hair on a regular basis. I've currently done two stints with a full beard over the last couple of months along with different variations of a goatee. When possible and practical, I like to periodically change the furniture around just to have a little different perspective. In many ways, I think change is good. What I don't enjoy as much is changing jobs and changing houses. That's what I'm facing right now. A lot of it, at this point, is the unknown. I'm not one for surprises. I like to know things ahead of time. I have been known, in the distant past, to find my Christmas presents before hand instead of being able to wait until Christmas day. That's just a part of my personality that I struggle with. Right now, I've applied for a head coaching position in Caldwell, TX. I think it would be an ideal situation but there are a lot of unknowns and variables that I'm considering and the simple fact that I have no idea whatsoever that I have a chance of being hired. Then comes the chore of finding an ideal place to live. I'm getting anxious for Spring Break so that I can maybe get a little closer to knowing how things are going to "pan out." I look forward to getting out of Newark High School. I'm tired of having over 200 students and very few resources. I'm tired of teaching 6 classes on top of my coaching duties. I'm tired of being in a place where I feel restricted in being able to do the things I'm capable of because of a system that is so broken. So, change will be good but it sure can be pretty scary for me, too.

Losing

So, in the last year, I've really had to get myself accustomed to losing. Since I took over as head coach in the middle of last year, my teams have gone 1-30. That's absolutely horrible!!! The last year I was in Texas, I coached a freshman team. Essentially, I took over all the coaching of this team from a woman that was pregnant and knew she would be leaving after just a few games. We ended that season 25-3 and we were 16-0 after I had taken over. Our whole program at Bryan was successful like that. I thing between all three teams that season, we were 75-13 and 33-1 in district play. It was great to be a part of that and really hard to come take over a program that has done almost nothing but lose. We actually, although only winning one game, could call ourselves more successful than last year even though we aren't winning. The game we won, we won by 20 over a team we only beat by 6 last year. At the end of the season, we have actually been competitive and have come within 10 points of teams that beat us easily the first time we saw them. One of my seniors that didn't start playing basketball till she started high school, has dramatically improved. In the first half of the season, she had very little production. In the last three games, she has totalled almost 25 points and almost 35 rebounds. Those are the things I'm proud of and those are the victories I claim. It still sucks to lose. These girls deserve to see more than improvement. They deserve to end a game with their score being higher than the other team's, just one more time. We have two more opportunities for this to happen.

Weighted

I'm feeling pretty weighted today. Do you ever have those days where you literally feel like there's weight just pulling your shoulders down? That's how I'm feeling. It's kinda hard to shake off. It doesn't help that my basketball team is now 1-18. We have done nothing but fight an uphill battle. Things are so weird here in Delaware. I just received an email today from my Athletic Director asking me to not get any more technicals this season. Attached to the email was the report filed with the DIAA (Delaware Interscholastic Athletic Association) by the official that gave me a technical in a game a couple of weeks ago. If I get another technical this season (the other was my first and only one so far) I will be suspended from the following game. It's a little bit ridiculous especially when the officials here are so horrible. Don't get me wrong, I know it seems like I'm complaining because I'm losing but that's definitely not the case. We lost a game about 3 weeks ago by 30 points but it was officiated well and I thanked those officials after the game. It's not about being "given" anything. It's simply about calling the game correctly. Anyway, that's not all that's bugging me. In fact, that's kind of minor in comparison but it sure doesn't help. I want to be able to shift this weight a little and I feel kinda helpless to do so. It's hard to deal with so many things at one time on an emotional level. It drains me.

Letting It Out

I know the title of this blog is what I've chosen to name the blog but it's appropriate to what's going on. For those that actually read this from time to time, this may be the week to keep up. There is definitely, right now, a proverbial "cat" in a "bag" and it's about to be let out. I don't know how this is going to go. I'm anxious and a little intimidated. It's life-altering! I just hope that when it comes out, it doesn't completely tear down everything around. In fact, when this is let out, a lot of you will begin to understand a lot of the posts over the last 6 months.

Losing sucks!!!

So, at the request of a friend, I have decided to finally update my blog. It's not been easy to get on here because there's so much going on. As you can tell from the title of this blog, basketball has not been going so well. We actually won our first game and won it by 21 points. Since then, it's not been pleasant. Our closest game was this past Friday where we lost by a mere 24 points. In Delaware, girls sports in public schools are at a real disadvantage. I knew that when I started but I'm really starting to see now to what extent it is. Here, private schools rule most sports, especially the girls sports. Two public school teams have not met in the state championship for girls' basketball since 1977. The middle schools in our school district don't even have athletics. Even if they did, I'm not allowed to go talk to them about coming to play basketball at our high school. This is very backwards compared to Texas. On the other hand, the private schools get all their girls from the youth programs and all have middle school athletics. Not only are they not restricted as far as a school district, they can have students come to their school from other states (Some of these schools are mere minutes from New Jersey and Pennsylvania). The talent that doesn't come up through their programs, they give scholarships so that they eventually end up in their programs. In a public school, I don't even have a budget. Everything that I think we need, I have to fund-raise in order to get the money for it. It's definitely an uphill battle that I'm fighting. If I'm going to turn things around, it's going to take time and a lot of work outside the season to try and build a foundation in downtown Wilmington among the girls that don't have the same advantages that the rich girls have. Of course, the good ones will end up at the private schools anyway. The task is a little bit daunting. Maybe I'll go teach/coach in Pennsylvania.