And the wall falls down

So, have you ever built a wall out of those little wooden ABC-blocks? It's not exactly sturdy. So, once you get it up to a certain height, it doesn't take more than a stiff breeze to knock it over. You get it to that point and you're watching to make sure nobody comes to close cause it took you so long to build it and don't want it to fall over. After a while, though, you start looking at the wall and you start thinking about what it would take to make it fall. You figure out that all it takes to destroy the whole thing is to disturb one little block and the whole thing comes crashing down. After that, you knock over the rest of it and have to start over again. Last night, I disturbed one of my blocks. It was careless and now I get to start all over.

25 hours

It's just 25 hours till my departure to the "Big Apple." I'm anxious with anticipation. More than anything, I'll be really glad to take a 4-day holiday from my students that doesn't involve teacher in-service. I'm looking forward to basketball and great Asian food. I'm looking forward to getting places without having to actually drive. I'm even looking forward to doing a substantial amount of people-watching on the subway. I'm hoping to even find a place to watch the big Anderson Silva, UFC fight on Friday night. Maybe I'll even go to a museum and take in a little culture.

New York City!

I am totally jazzed about going to New York City this weekend. I'm taking a sick day (cough, cough) off from school and leaving as soon as I get out on Thursday. I get to play a bunch of basketball and sleep late a couple of days and just walk around and be a tourist if I feel like it. I'm not even sure what all I'm going to do. I've got Thursday night and Friday morning all booked up. From there, as long as I can still walk after all the basektball, it's totally up in the air. There are a few things I'm wanting to see but I don't know if I'll be able to fit it all in. I have until Sunday so I'm hoping to get most of it in. I might try to see a Broadway show but I know those can be a little pricey so that may not happen. Anyway, I'm really excited!

Friendship

I was just thinking today about making friends. It seems like there's two general kinds of people when it comes to this. There are people who make lots of friends. Those tend to be the people that are really nice and outgoing. They may have a few really good friends but, in general, they have lots of people that they communicate with on a regular basis or hang out with or something like that. Then there are the people who don't really go out looking for friends. They tend to have just a few really good friends and everyone else is more like an aquaintance they speak to when they are around them. I'm more like the latter of the two. I have a handful of what I call best friends that are actually more like my brothers. I talk to people at work when I'm at work but not really outside of work. I don't really know a whole lot of people outside of these few friends and the people I work with. It's been a little hard for me here, in Delware because it's the first place I've ever lived that I didn't have friends around that I could just call and go hang out with. I'm going to have to work on that.

1,000 lbs.

Right now, things aren't perfect in life. Not even close. The wonderful thing is, we have all of these people praying for us. I know they are because they tell us on a regular basis that they are praying for us. I don't want to stomp on that. We really need that. But right now, I just feel a little discouraged. Today, it feels like someone has dumped 1,000 lbs. on my back. All around, I have these people saying, "You don't have to take it very far," "We know you can do it!" "We're praying for you that you'll be able to hold it up!" The problem is, I'm holding 1,000 lbs. on my back. So, I'm told to give that weight over to God. So I'm praying to God, "Please, can you help me out here? I'm willing to carry a big load but 1,000 lbs. is definitely more than I can carry." No answer. In fact, it's like someone decided that they could go ahead and dump another couple of hundred lbs. on because, for some reason, they feel I'm pretty strong and I'll be able to carry that, too. The fact is, I'm being crushed. So, I'm praying with all of my heart that God will come along and take some of the weight off, that he'll provide some sort of miracle that will just give even a little bit of release. Nothing. I'm starting to feel like Job. I'm thinking, "I don't understand! I didn't do anything to deserve this!" Others are telling me exactly what went wrong and what I should do but the fact is, they're not helping! You see someone with a 1,000 lbs. on their back on TV and you wish you could help them and you can call them on the phone and say that you're praying for them or you're telling them to be careful but, in the end, you don't truly know what it's like to carry that weight until you've done it yourself! Pray for me!! Pray that God, like he did for Job, will turn things around. Pray that I will be patient. Pray that I will understand. Pray for someone who's having trouble praying for themself. Please, just pray.